the dork
is merely an ordinary dork,
has the world's WORST judgment in guys,
thinks she's from outer space,
is trying NOT to fall for the wrong guys,
is trying to be a grown-up,
meanwhile, being herself.
Brighter than sunshine current mood : adored theme song : brighter than sunshine by aqualung
FIRST OF ALL, OEI, the impostor MR. FISHTANK, please do not simply use "MR-FISHTANK " just because you think it's fun?! Do you know IT'S SUCH A SERIOUS OFFENSE? Ah yuan,was that you? Or Eugene? Or Chin Woo?Okie, whoever it is, please don't do that.
Anyway, I feel so good about my new life and being the new me. and VICTOR, tell you what, it's gonna stay this way. I won't get myself into shits anymore. Please do mark my words. Someone told me that he's disappointed to know that I actually chose to drink when I was feeling low.Well, that WAS me. And why was I feeling low? I don't think I should elaborate on that. That was something happened in the past and I do not dwell in my past. So yeah. MOVE ON MOVE ON, SHALL WE?
Why Mr Fishtank? Ok, this has something to do with one of my favourite movies. I think I once mentioned about this movie in cherubcherub. So in this movie,Head Over Heels, there was this girl named Amanda Pierre. Literally, she and I share something in common. She had the world's worst judgment in guys and she never failed to fall for the wrong ones. She fell for a homo, a guy who cheated on her with a supermodel, a guy preferred a girl with bigger boobies and a guy did not want a commitment. And me?I fell for a gay, oh yeah, I did, and I was the last person to know, a guy cheated on me with another girl(definitely not a supermodel), a guy did not want a serious relationship, and WORST of all, I dated a guy who broke up with me just because I did not want to have sex with him. Yeah, pathetic, I know.
Then, one day, she finally met Mr. Fishtank. Awwww I think most of the girls would have melted away when they saw Freddie Prinze Jr's smile. *Drools* Okie, okie, back to the story, why Mr.Fishtank? ER HEM.....
BECAUSE
Can't you go and get a dvd by yourself?! Of course, I don't mind lending you the dvd, BUT, it can't work that well now coz I have watched it too many times. Uncountable, I should say. Haha. It's just a long story, anyway. And laziness dominates my life, remember? Well, of course, Mr. Fishtank was not someone perfect. After all the hassles and stuff, they finally got together. -THE END- Haha isn't it an interesting synopsis? Ha! I'm sorry, guys. Please get a dvd or google this movie. I'M SUCH A LAZY BUM AND I'M SO PROUD TO ADMIT THAT. Talking about Mr. Fishtank's smile, I did meet someone with a smile like that before. Someone with the cutest smile. I guess some of you may know whom I am talking about here. Yeah, a guy with a oh-so-common name. Yup, that's him. A guy who turned me into a racist. NAH no, I'm just kidding. I AM NOT A RACIST. Just that, well you know, sometimes, I am afraid of getting into a relationship with a *BEEEEEP* guy. Let me repeat this once again, RACISM AIN'T MY THING. Just that, well, OKIE I SHOULD SHUT UP.
I told Candy about this movie and she said, " Babe, isn't this cool? You are gonna meet your Mr.Fishtank like Amanda did!" " Oh yeah, I might."
In the past, I would just say ," No no no no, I am sooooooo gonna be a spinster for the rest of my life and blah blah blah blah." and the story would continue with how pathetic I was gonna be when I was old and senile, feeding a big black cat in a super duper old apartment and when I died accidentally, no one was gonna notice that, until, that big black cat of mine started to have the idea of feeding himself by eating my corpse up. Yet, now, instead of telling my friends about the spinsterhood story, I will say, "Oh yeah, I will just go with the flow." In fact, life is so much easier when you just let the nature takes its course.
Shao En a.k.a Mr Bad-hair-day, perhaps letting go seems to be the hardest part now. Time is all it takes. Soon enough, you will know how to handle it. Just hang in there, dude! Oh yeah, don't call me DUDE, okie. I'm not a dude, you idiot. Haha. Anyway, just remember this, if it is meant to be, it is gonna happen no matter what. I know how corny this sounds. But this is the fact! Face it!
Is it so hard to move on? I DON'T THINK SO.
18:08
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Beautiful Disaster current mood : oh-so-giddy theme song : Beautiful Disaster by Jon McLaughlin
The previous blog of mine is really dead this time. I'm not gonna use it anymore. Not even once. Hence, www.cherubcherub.blogspot.com is finally deceased.
Life has been the same. And I'm pretty much the same Jeanette Kong as ever. Just that some parts of me are changing. Mentally, of course. How do you solve your problems when you, yourself, are the root of all your problems? This is something I would like to ask myself. I've eventually realized that I am not just flawed but problematic as well. Some of you must have noticed that a long time ago. And many of you have warned me about that. Okie, I just really hate to say, " Oh damn, you are so right about me!" Anyway, it's never too late to wake up, right? "You need to grow up, you know?No one is gonna clean your shits for you. Be responsible!" Yeah, I heard that. I've always thought I was moving on. Yet, I was actually going no where. Even my Mum asked me to grow up. Okie, it's really embarrassing to type this out. But yeah, she's right.
And, finally, finally, I came up with a conclusion after analyzing my problems. Well, it's not just a conclusion. A solution as well. I know I always liked to ask, "Why do I always meet assholes?" Leann, I know you are probably gonna say, " Assholes are just meant for you!" Okie, shut up. ANSWER: I was always being extraordinarily naive. And I was the one who brought those jerky assess into my life firstly. So technically, I should stop complaining. Why was I always so unlucky in my love life? Because I chose it. So when things went wrong, I shouldn't blame on anyone. In fact, I was to blame for all these. Okie, how could I even expect such thing to last anyway? He probably never meant to be the one. I thought he's gonna be different. I thought it was gonna be different. Undeniably, these thoughts of mine are just, well, NAIVE. Come on, what was I thinking? Why would I think that he's even serious? "Jean, you are not a 2-year-old kid, ok?He's just trying to get you into his bed! Idiot." Yeah, yeah, yeah, you guys are absolutely right. He's just another guy, I assume. Oh please, where did I meet him huh? At a fucking club. Now, I am making a fool of myself here. Firstly, why those so-called-not-too-bad-yet-might-have-the-slightest-chance-to-turn- into-an-asshole would want to chill at clubs?! Okie, what I'm trying to say is why would people like geeks would want to go to the clubs? Nah no, I'm not saying that I like geeks here. Well, geeks are not bad. But not too geeky. Oh damn, what am I talking about?! "Don't go to the clubs if you are looking for a serious relationship. Go to the right place to meet the right guy! " Friends say. I have to make myself clear here.
Truth #1 I would never want to look for anyone in a club. Not even a stupid fling.
Truth #2 I don't like to go clubbing. I am serious. DEAAAAAAAAAAD SERIOUS here. I know, you guys must be shouting ,"LIAR!" Yet, honestly, I don't like it. Never. I will only do that when I am feeling low. Ok, it's a super duper wrong choice. Therefore, no more clubbing! What I'm gonna do when I'm feeling low next time? JUST SLEEP!
Truth #3 ONE-NIGHT-STAND?! NO WAY. I do have my own principle here. I am open-minded yet conservative at the same time. By the way, what the hell is wrong with being still a virgin at my age?HUH?HUH?HUH? HELLO?! Oh male creatures, I just don't give in that easily. I just don't do that for the sake of doing that. Of course, there's gonna be an exception. But only when I meet the right and special one. When will that be? 20 years later? or it's not gonna happen at all? Well, I don't care. All I know is if he happens to be the right one, he will not just leave me because I refuse to have sex with him. DUH.
To prevent myself from getting into shits again, I ought to be rational. Be realistic. and Mr. Fishtank? I'm going with the flow now. Even if he only exists in the outer space, I know somehow somewhere I am gonna find him. Coz I am sure he shines brighter than sunshine.
